BRIDE: Odera (32)

GROOM: Arthur (37)

LOCATION: Calabasas, California (Odera), Riverside, California (Arthur)

Dating: 10 months

Engaged: 3 weeks

Wedding Date:  December 2024 

Odera and Arthur met roughly a year ago via Facebook dating. He liked her picture, reached out, they met in person and the rest is history. The couple quickly escalated their relationship. They’ve only been dating for roughly nine months before Arthur proposed. When asked about the speedy engagement, they state, “when you know you know!” Odera and Arthur are very much in love and look forward to a future together, however, they have their fair share of relationship issues as well as blind-spots as it relates to one another. Odera is the extrovert, type-A, doer and decider of the relationship. Arthur is a passive people pleaser who goes with the flow. Sometimes this dynamic works well, and sometimes it causes animosity. Arthur maintains friendships with female friends (including his ex-girlfriend) that Odera thinks are inappropriate. Arthur believes that being friends with women is perfectly normal and that she has nothing to worry about. It doesn’t help that Arthur and Odera don’t live together which only exacerbates suspicions. Even Odera’s mother is unsure what to believe and wants to get to the bottom of it. Arthur believes that Odera can be manipulative and tell white-lies. It’s difficult for him to know when she is being authentic or putting on a front. Odera and Arthur want to get real answers to important questions before they take the big step marriage.

 ODERA’S QUESTIONS FOR ARTHUR: 

1)    Has Arthur hooked up with his “best friend”?

Is he being honest about never hooking up with his friend who is an exotic dance who lives on his couch? Have they kissed or been intimate in any way? Arthur has been friends with her since high school and maintains that she is in a time of need and needs his help. Odera isn’t convinced – and neither is her mother! 

2)    Why won’t Arthur introduce Odera to his family?

She has yet to meet his family members in Virginia. Why doesn’t he want to get married in his hometown? She wonders if he is embarrassed of her? Is he embarrassed of his family? Why won’t he let her talk to them? The lack of information and the avoidance of the topic has her suspicious and curious.

3)    Why can’t Arthur let go of his ex-girlfriend?

Arthur is still friends with his ex-girlfriend who leans on Arthur’s good nature to help her in life. She is constantly asking him for favors whether it’s giving her rides to running errands or even looking after her pet cat! The whole situation seems one-sided, inappropriate and toxic. It doesn’t make any sense to Odera and has her wondering if she has something on him? She can’t help but to speculate and spiral.

ARTHUR’S QUESTIONS FOR ODERA: 

1)    Why does Odera lie and why does she think it is okay to do so?

Arthur has caught Odera telling “untruths” and manipulating situations. It leaves him questioning: What is true? What isn’t? And even more troubling, why does she think it’s okay to lie? Has she lied to him? If she isn’t honest with others how can he be certain she is honest and trustworthy in their relationship?

2)    Where does Odera want to live?

He doesn’t want to move back to Virginia or back to the South. She is evasive about the subject and he can never get a straight forward answer.

3)    Is Odera really a Conservative?

Is she pretending to be a Conservative to be contradictory? Her political beliefs can be staunchly different than his and he’s worried that they might not ever see eye to eye? But part of Arthur believes that Odera might be pretending to be a conservative for attention and shock value… If so, why?

4)    How important is Odera’s Nigerian Culture?

Odera is Nigerian and her culture is important to her, but Arthur wants to know how her connection with her culture will include and impact him? Will he be expected to visit Nigeria often? Will he have to learn to eat and cook Nigerian food? Learn more about the culture and the language? He’s uncertain how much his own life will be forced to change to accommodate Odera’s connection to her culture.