Muhammad

Parent: Tressa (54)

Adult Child: Muhammad (30)

Location: Grandview, Missouri

Tressa has a lively, ambitious spirit whose brightness can’t be dimmed. That is, until recently. It’s almost two years since Tressa’s son, Muhammad, moved back in with her. He’s messy, negative, lazy and unmotivated. Tressa feels his presence is nothing but a dark cloud wreaking havoc on her usual peppy and productive lifestyle. She’s been a mom to her son and daughter (Stephanie) for over thirty years and has always dreamed of the day where she’d get to sit back and admire the accomplishments of her children. That hasn’t happened for Muhammad.

Tressa is so passionate about giving Muhammad the fresh start that he needs because she’s seen him live independently before. When Muhammad graduated with his degree from culinary school in 2017, (he was 22 at the time) he worked temp jobs while he built up his skills and savings to kickstart his own small business. Finally, he was able to open his own small bakery using a ghost kitchen and saw enough success to move into a studio apartment. Shortly after, though, the pandemic hit, and everything changed for Muhammad. He and his long-term girlfriend broke up, his car was stolen, and most importantly, no one was buying cookies anymore. With everything going wrong, Muhammad broke his lease and asked his mom if he could move back in with her.

Tressa was glad to welcome her son back home but she assumed the situation would be temporary. It quickly became clear that Muhammad’s mental state and well-being was deteriorating. Without a job or social life, Muhammad presently sleeps all day and smokes weed most of the time he’s conscious. His room is a disaster and he isn’t taking care of himself. In the last six months, Tressa has witnessed her son deteriorating further and further from the person she knows he can be. He’s quicker to temper, he’s become rude, he’s isolating, he’s lazy and he has no ambition. It’s extremely difficult for her to witness, but she refuses to allow him to sink down and let him take her down with him.

Meanwhile, Tressa has a daughter named Stephanie who is thriving in life. She has a stable job a professor, a stable relationship and living out of state. Stephani worries about Muhammad but ultimately thinks that her mother is enabling her brother.

Tressa feels like she has tried everything in order to get Muhammad back on his feet. She’s tried getting him counseling, imposing rules in the household, giving him chores, introducing him to people in the community, inspire him to bake again. 

She oscillates from a nurturing and caring mother trying to help her son, to becoming resentful, frustrated and angry. She’s become so upset that she’s even packed up his things and tried to kick him out. She backed off when he made some small changes but the situation is still dire. This year, Tressa has given Muhammad an ultimatum that he needed to start contributing financially to the household. He got a part-time job as a dishwasher in a teppanyaki restaurant to satisfy this request, but it’s just not enough for Tressa. She wants to see her son fully back on his feet, independent, and doing what he loves. Tressa understands that in order for them to both survive he must move out.