Michael

Parent: PAULA (59)

Adult Child: MICHAEL (24)

Location: MARGATE CITY, NEW JERSEY

Paula and her husband, Larry, appeared to lead an idyllic life: successful careers, two beautiful children, and ownership of two homes, including one nestled in an affluent beach community along the New Jersey shore. However, their world crumbled when Larry was diagnosed with late-stage pancreatic cancer in 2020. Tragically, Larry lost his battle with the disease in 2021, and the aftermath has presented the family with profound challenges. However, Paula and her daughter Brook have continued to thrive in life but son Michael has yet to launch.

Michael attended the Fashion Institute of Technology in the heart of New York City which fulfilled a lifelong dream. Michael thrived in school, but as soon as he graduated he couldn’t find a job so he had to move back home with his mother. He hasn’t left yet. Michael feels like he is behind all of his peers who are working in fashion, living in fabulous apartments in the city, and enjoying the dating scene.

Michael's days are bleak. He juggles his time between friends, hanging out in his room and trying to find a job. On one hand, it’s great that he’s applying to jobs, but the problem is that he is applying to extremely hard to get jobs exclusively in fashion. These are career jobs that usually require years of experience he doesn’t yet have. He gets interviews, but the daily rejection emails only push him further into a funk. Though Paula has always had a great career and comfortable lifestyle, since the death of her husband, money has been tight. Now she is subsidizing her grown son who should be on his way to financial independence. She is on a fixed income and can only afford to take care of herself. She can’t afford two people on one salary and therefore wants Michael to get a job to help out. A job, any job! Michael refuses. He says that he is too busy applying for career jobs, but mom believes that truth is that he simply doesn’t want to start from the bottom. He refuses to take on jobs at restaurants, car-shares, etc. This creates a major burden for Paula.

Michael's older sister, Brook (28), believes Michael is taking advantage of Paula. Brook knows that money is Paula's Achilles' heel. It's also no secret that Brook doesn't like Michael, and simply put: she never has. The lifelong tension between Michael and Brook even led Larry to make a final plea on his deathbed for Brook to mend her relationship with Michael. Paula is beginning to grapple with the idea that Michael may be taking advantage of her. Michael's financial reliance on his mother is evident by his use of her credit card for shopping trips, dinners, and nights out with friends. Michael's spending is cause for frequent heated arguments between Michael and Paula, and is easily the biggest point of contention in their relationship. Michael is also faced with the constant comparison to Brook, who has a solid job in speech pathology. He is annoyed by the comparison and feels it's unfair to compare them.

The situation has reached a critical juncture for Paula. While she acknowledges that Michael has had to deal with the death of his father, she is growing less sympathetic to Michael’s lack of ambition. Paula often questions whether overindulging Michael so much has hindered his ability to navigate life independently. Even Paula's therapist has encouraged her to draw a line in the sand and give Michael a strict deadline for when he needs to be out. Paula wants Michael out, but also wants him to be able to do it entirely on his own. She’s just not sure if that’s possible. Paula’s deepest fear is that Michael will be financially dependent on her forever.