Marita

Wife: Marita, Age 40

Missing Husband: Dylan

Location: Ashland, Oregon

Marita Married In 2017

Married For Four Years

Husband Disappeared 2021

Marita met her husband Dylan in 2016, he was the rugged, handsome guy who mirrored all of Marita’s desires; children, building a home, a family, a business, etc. He was everything that she ever wanted in a life partner. In 2017, she had the “fairytale” wedding that she’d always dreamed of. In 2018, Marita gave birth to twin boys, and they also had a daughter in 2019. While she was busy taking care of three toddlers, he was starting multiple businesses, and they - and Marita’s then 15-year-old daughter, Katana, from a previous relationship - moved into a beautiful old farmhouse that Marita planned to fully restore. Katana is 20 years old, and her father is from a previous relationship.

Together, the couple started a small working farm growing various crops, including legal hemp. They intertwined their finances buying a home, property, expensive farming equipment and a pricey sprinter van to transport their large family. They went all in on a home, life and a business together. Their marriage was picture perfect. They had a comfortable home, new cars, thriving businesses and a growing family. The future looked bright - until May of 2021, when Dylan started getting overly argumentative, as though he wanted to start fights. Marita had no idea what to make of this, and one night, she asked him if he was seeing other women, which really set him off. He grabbed a few things and said he was going to spend the night at a hotel to “cool off.” He never came back.

She came to discover that he had cheated business partners and customers, who were now turning their anger towards Marita, demanding that she find Dylan for the money that he owes them. She then started recognizing red flags that she had missed: He never showed any interest in their children. Marita doesn’t even think he held them as toddlers unless they were taking a family photo. Marita also recalls that Dylan was also mean to her daughter, Katana, getting into arguments with her about pointless things, which Marita just brushed off as teenage rebellion. Subsequently, Marita has not been able to locate Dylan. No one knows where he is or what he is doing. He doesn’t answer calls or emails, and never checks in with her or their two children. Although Marita can understand abandoning a wife she cannot comprehend a man abandoning his own children.

The last time Marita heard from Dylan was a message saying he was with Jimmy. She didn’t know who Jimmy is/was. Dylan and Marita grew hemp together, so it’s possible that Dylan knew Jimmy as someone who helped on the farm, but to this day doesn’t know who that is. Marita has done everything from contacting all of Dylan’s family, to hiring a private investigator to calling, emailing and looking for him on social media. She thinks that he is in a different state, perhaps changed his name, or started in a new line of work. He is very much missing.

Dylan’s departure has forced a major lifestyle change for Marita and her children, especially financially. Dylan’s departure meant that she has little income and works part-time in child-care and receives assistance from her mother and her oldest daughter Katana. Marita was heartbroken when they lost all of the equity they had put into their house because he ignored her pleas to sign the appropriate paperwork in time. She couldn’t even register or sell their vehicles, which has caused her to get pulled-over by the police repeatedly.

Because the bank foreclosed on her dream home Marita had to recently move her family. So, with just the clothes on her back and her five kids, she recently moved from Medford where she and Dylan had the farm to Ashland (the two cities are roughly 15-30 minutes apart.)  Ashland is where she grew up, so the move is a fresh start for Marita and her family. Thanks to her mother, she has a new mobile home and a place to live and financial support. Katana also lives in Ashland Oregon and has her own life, her own friends and works as a server at a local restaurant. Katana helps her mother financially and she also helps to take care of her half-siblings. Life is hard, but they have each other while they pick up the pieces.

Dylan does have family in the area. Marita and Dylan’s mother remain in contact and have a good relationship. She is actively involved as a grandmother and plays a positive role in the lives of Marita and Dylan’s children. However, as far as Marita and Katana know, Dylan’s mother is also unaware of his whereabouts. According to Dylan, their relationship has always been estranged. Dylan’s mother has offered to inform Marita if he reaches out to her since his disappearance, but so far, that hasn’t happened

Putting their lives back together has been more difficult than they thought. Ashland is Dylan’s home town too, therefore everyone knows him and everyone also knows the story between him and Marita. On a daily basis Marita is bombarded with questions about his whereabouts, about money he owes them; even other women that he was in touch with reach out to Marita. Leaving the house can mean that Marita has to face the consequences of Dylan’s abandonment on a daily basis. She never knows who or what she will encounter. Either way, Marita has children to raise and a life to live, so she tries not to dwell on the past.

Although devastated and not looking for love, she found it with a farmhand who used to work for Dylan and they now have an unplanned, two-year-old son. Dylan’s abandonment has led to trust issues in her romantic relationships. She isn’t sure if she believes in marriage or if she will ever get married again. She loves Mikey but the history with Dylan has made love and trust difficult for her. Mikey worked for Dylan, so Marita was friends with him before it became romantic. Five months after Dylan left, Marita developed feelings for Mikey and they began dating.

Today, Marita is working towards dissolving any remaining remnants of the life with Dylan: selling and disposing of any remaining possessions, and making sure that any business entanglements do not include her. Dylan owes money to many people and has left behind a trail of unfinished work and broken promises. These individuals frequently approach Marita, attempting to hold her accountable for his actions. Her primary motivation for finding Dylan is to have him waive any parental rights to their children, which would simplify the process of obtaining passports. She needs the passports to travel to Ireland with Mikey.

Now that she is back in Ashland, she relies on her mother for help with her children and family. Her mother is happy to help from a distance but she doesn’t help look after the children. Marita knows that there is an end to the support of her mother and that she will need to find her own legs in the next year.

Although Marita is afraid to find him, she’s sure he’s doing this to other families, and she wants him to be held accountable for the financial and emotional damage he has done. Dylan had two different families prior to meeting Marita so Katana believes he will just find another woman and family to do the same thing to. Katana is furious with Dylan, and wants to see him held accountable. All of Marita’s relationships are strained because of Dylan, including her relationship with her daughter. Katana resents the slack she has had to pick up supporting her family in his absence. And although Marita and Katana are close, the subject of Dylan has driven a wedge in their relationship. Katana wants to find him and protect her mother, where Marita feels like she needs to fight her own battle and not have her daughter burdened with her mother’s choices.

Marita emphasizes what a good liar and con-artist Dylan was. He sold her the dream and she bought it. Any red-flags at the outset were minor. It’s only in hindsight that Marita is analyzing all the red-flags from Dylan.

Marita realizes that she and her family are not done with Dylan. She wants to confirm that Dylan will no longer have any custodial rights to the children as well as to confirm a divorce. Marita has been left struggling financially, so hopefully finding Dylan could potentially help with child support or perhaps even a little financial support which would go a long way. Granted that there are some benefits in finding Dylan, Marita also feels anxiety surrounding allowing such a duplicitous and manipulative man back into her life.