Mom: Lori (57)

Son: James (22)

Location: Colts Neck, New Jersey

Son Occupation: Student

Mother Occupation: Stay At Home Mom

Mom’s Baby Boy

Coming from a long line of Italians that have always put family first, it’s practically in Lori’s DNA to spoil, dote, prioritize, and favor her first born - James. He’s also known to his sister as, “He who can do no wrong.” Lori goes to extreme lengths to manage and control her son’s life. She buys him underwear (she especially loves the Rudolph underwear she bought for him), she picked out and decorated his apartment at college, she does his laundry, his cooking, his cleaning; any chore an adult would do for themselves, Lori does for James. She shows up at his apartment unannounced in front of his friends to clean for him. She even waxes his butt, his back, and shaves his neck and his beard-line. She picks out his clothing and dresses him. She buys him presents and takes him on shopping sprees in NYC. She even knows about his sex life, the number of people he’s been with, and even where his intimate products (lube and condoms) are located in his bedroom… Yes, she knows it all…and knows no boundaries! 

James, the oldest of the family, is a 22-year-old college student currently studying business at Rutgers University, which is a 40 minute drive from his parent’s home in Colts Neck, New Jersey. Despite his age, James is here for all of his mom’s obsessive need to continually mother him. Since he doesn’t know any differently, he welcomes it! James and Lori talk on the phone six times a day at minimum (James shares his entire schedule with his mom so that she knows exactly when he’s free to talk). If James sleeps in and misses his morning call with Lori, she’ll blow up his phone with texts, worried sick that something’s happened to him. If James is out on a date and not sending his mom updates, she’ll also blow up his phone for the same reason; James once received 25 missed calls in one night.  

Tatum is Lori’s only daughter, (19) who also has a close relationship with mom, but it’s not like James’ and Lori’s. Tatum is her mother’s mini-me, and is constantly by her side and following in her mother’s footsteps. Full disclosure: Tatum will also still sleep in bed with mom and dad! Tatum thinks that James is way more spoiled and that James is infallible in her mother’s eyes. It’s a point of contention because, if there’s a disagreement, Mom will always side with James and never with her. 

When James first started college, he thought he might want to live on campus in the dorms, but Lori flat out refused. She was not going to let her son leave home, even if he was 18 and a legal adult. Eventually, James was able to convince his mom to let him live in an apartment off campus, but only on the condition that he come home on weekends and that she can visit at any time. That was non-negotiable.

So far, James has really liked living at school. He gets to live an independent life, spend time with his friends, and make decisions for himself that he wouldn’t get to make otherwise if he was living at home with his mom. James says that even just deciding what he’s going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner is an exciting step of independence for him.  

Despite all these benefits from living at school, James is actually considering moving back home this upcoming semester. Even though he’s tried at times to distance himself and be his own person, he can’t help but to miss his mother’s pull and the crazy fun dysfunction that goes on back in Colts Neck. Though James has tried time and time again to set boundaries with his mom, he ultimately can’t deny her entry into every facet of his life. If a boundary is set, it’s only respected for a little while before they come back together.

James knows moving back home would have huge drawbacks as well. James would miss out on a lot of the college experience, losing precious time with friends that live at Rutgers. At school, he has an “ultimate buffet of gay guys” (in his words), but at home, his options would become extremely limited. On top of that, if he did meet someone he wanted to have over, he’d have to try to sneak them past his family in an attempt to avoid the inevitable interrogations (“Who is that? Who are you with? Where did you meet him?”) Even though those interrogations are awkward, James also knows that he ultimately tells his mom everything, anyway, even in regards to his one night stands. James has tried to keep secrets from his mom in the past, but in the end, guilt kicks in. He can’t help but to confide in her. James struggles with balancing the connection he feels with his mom and the need to be independent. 

James’ father, Danny, does not want James to move back home. He thinks that it’s time that James starts to cut ties, live his life, come into his own and be his own person. Moving back home will be a step backwards for James. Dad thinks that James is better served staying put and building his own life.  Additionally, Tatum does not want James to move back home. She’s incredibly close with her mom and the two together have their own routines and rituals. If James moves back that means she’ll have to compete with her brother for attention from Mom. James is also the “golden boy of the family,” so when James is home, Tatum complains that he gets away with everything and she gets blamed for anything instead. She finds that, because he’s the eldest son, he gets preferential treatment and it’s a double standard.

Mom is also super involved in James’ love life. James was in a long term relationship with a man named Danny who is ten years his senior. Danny was insecure and jealous because James’ got a lot of attention from men, so in August of 2021, he broke things off with James. He was devastated, but it was Lori that was there to pick up the pieces. However, Danny is the ex who might not be so much of an ex. Danny has been reaching back out to James to apologize and rekindle the romance. Lori is on the fence whether this is a good idea. On one hand, Lori has been concerned that James is dating too much and he should settle down, but on the other hand, she doesn’t want to see her son get hurt again. James knows that he can’t be just friends with Danny, but he’s not sure if he wants to pursue a relationship.

As if their closeness wasn’t enough, James and Lori purchased a very small café located on a nearby military base for soldiers. The café is a counter service spot with basic lunch fare. Lori and James wanted a business they could run together, so they put in a bid and now they run the spot. It’s open during the day several days a week. They have employees to help run the place, but they jump into several shifts every week to keep the café going. It’s a fun way for them to spend time together, make some money and give back to their community.

Where does that leave Dad? According to Danny, father to James and husband to Lori, his wife’s behavior has left him completely on the sidelines. “I’m nobody,” he confides. Dad even gets kicked out of his own bed with his wife when James come home to visit on the weekends! James will often climb into bed with his mom and sleep next to her, pushing dad out to take refuge in James’ room to get some rest!

Danny also worries that all this coddling has left James ill-prepared for the real world. James has virtually no responsibilities or chores, and relies on his mother for just about everything. Even Lori admits that she worries that she’s coddled him to the point of handicap, wondering if he’ll be able to hold down a job in the future. Still, she can’t help herself. She couldn’t stop if she tried.