HUSBAND: Lance (41)

wife: Ashly (40)

Bakersfield, ca

She’s a white-girl fashionista who loves Botox, makeup, purses and shopping where he’s a black cowboy who loves horses, working with his hands and the great outdoors. They were born in into very different families. They each have polar opposite personalities, likes, interests, hobbies but somehow have made it work. Lance is reserved, observant, quiet, while Ashly is loud and outgoing, speaks without a filter…and with very little forethought. Ashly is an early-bird, Lance is a night-owl. Ashly is OBSESSED with the gym. Lance is a lazy-boy kinda guy. Lance is calculated and only spends money on practical things while Ashly has an addictive personality and can be caught on any given day with hundreds of dollars of shopping bags in hand.

The two were raised very differently. Lance believes that Ashly was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Lance, on the other hand, was raised by his grandmother because his parents worked out of town. He shared a cot on the floor with his cousin who was a whopping 6-foot-2-inches, making for less-than-comfortable living standards. He characterizes his upbringing as rougher than Ashly’s, but it made him who he is today and he’s thankful for that.

Lance and Ashly’s fairytale romance began in a way fitting only to their distinct brand of opposites: at a nightclub where Ashly was dancing on top of a speaker and Lance walked in after his FoodMaxx shift – still wearing the uniform. They ran into each other at the gym a week later, and have been attached at the hip ever since.

Lance has always had a passion for the outdoors and an unexplainable urge to own a horse someday. That day came when he secretly bought a horse without telling his wife Ashly for fear that she’d never allow it. Cleverly though, he named the new horse “Rip” after Ashly’s crush in Yellowstone, hoping to soften the blow when he did break the news. Lance is still pushing to get Ashly on a horse and to share his passion. He wants her to see what he loves about cowboy culture. She can’t quite see the appeal as taking care of a horse isn’t stimulating enough for her…not to mention the smell. She much prefers the smell of BlooMingdales or Nordstroms. But Ashly has some life decisions of her own up her sleeve. Or up her blouse more specifically…She wants a breast augmentation in order to be even more voluptuous and attractive. Lance doesn’t think it’s necessary and thinks that she is beautiful just the way she is.

Now that Lance and Ashly have four kids of their own ranging from 11 to 17 years old and one with special needs, the duo’s contrasting upbringings have come into play as they navigate parenthood. Ashly admits that she’s the friend to all the kids, where Lance is the parent. Lance has earned the respect of all four kids, and doesn’t hold back in disciplining them. On the other hand, Ashly believes in giving the kids second chances…and third…and fourth…and fifth…you get the idea… 

Lately, the entire family dynamic has shifted because of Lance’s new working situation. Lance accepted a job in January that would move the family from California to Texas, which has always been his dream. Lance and Ashly sold their home in Bakersfield and put down a deposit on a house to purchase in Texas. But just as they were getting packed up Ashly had a sudden change of heart. She realized she can’t stand the thought of living “on a pile of dirt in the middle of nowhere,” and she refused to move! So, they didn’t end up moving. Ashly and the kids live in a temporary rental home in Bakersfield while Lance works half the month in Texas, commuting back and forth between Texas and California. Not only is it a terrible situation for everyone involved, putting the family in limbo, Lance is terrified of airplanes and had never been on an airplane until he accepted his job.

It’s killing Lance to be far away from home for so long. He remembers how his parents were never around for him growing up, always out of town working. He remembers the sadness and abandonment he felt and vowed to never do that to his children. Sadly, he’s doing just that. Lance wants more than anything for the family, (and his horse Rip!) to make the move to Texas. He just needs to convince his polar opposite wife! The family is planning a trip to Texas this summer to test the waters of what life in Texas might be like. Will Ashly be the cowgirl to her cowboy or will she put a stop to his Western fantasy?

Either way, the stress of dad’s work and commute schedule is impacting everyone. Ashly has taken on the brunt of the parenting responsibilities but admittedly feels lost without her husband. As the “friend” to her kids, they don’t take her seriously, and they walk all over her. Without Lance the home has no structure and no discipline. The children miss their father and Ashly misses her husband.

As the months go by, how will this new working and living situation impact the family? Will Ashly learn to love the slower-paced lifestyle? Or will Lance come to terms with the fact that his loud, outgoing, obnoxious soulmate just wouldn’t be able to thrive in Texas? Only time will tell!