GROOM: Kai (Age 30)
BRIDE: Ocean (Age 30)
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
RELATIONSHIP DURATION: Met in March 2023, together for almost a year
ENGAGEMENT DATE: November 8, 2024
Kai and Ocean first crossed paths at a late-night birthday party in March 2023. Ocean, a server at the time, arrived with cheesecake, got drunk, and playfully sat on Kai’s lap, commenting that he “looked short” before realizing her mistake when he stood up. The next day, she invited him back, and their connection began. Though they initially weren’t each other’s "cup of tea," they spent increasing amounts of time together and found common ground.
Their early days were marked by a mutual sense of "why not?" as they got to know each other better. Ocean invited herself over to Kai’s house, and over time, they bonded through shared interests and his cooking skills. Kai frequently cooked meals, took care of Ocean’s cats, and gradually became indispensable in her life. By May 2023—just two months into dating—Kai was spending nearly all his time at Ocean’s place, leading to a natural transition into cohabitation by July/August 2023. Despite concerns from friends (including Kai’s roommate, who hadn’t seen him in weeks), the couple’s bond only grew stronger.
Kai proposed to Ocean on November 8, 2024, at The Grove Marketplace, a nostalgic and meaningful location for him. He had originally planned to propose in front of Ocean’s cats but opted for The Grove, incorporating donuts, their favorite song (Pink Pony Club), and sentimental memories from their past. While Ocean suspected the proposal was coming, the execution was still a heartfelt surprise. Kai and Ocean are planning a spontaneous Vegas wedding with an Elvis officiant because they want a low-stress, fun celebration without an overwhelming guest list.
Despite their playful and fun dynamic, Kai and Ocean’s relationship also faces serious challenges, often rooted in their contrasting approaches to life and maturity. When the couple met, Ocean was a carefree server who drank heavily. During their relationship, she had a wake-up call that pushed her to reassess her future. She quit drinking, left the service industry, and worked her way into a high-paying job at a law office, embracing a more structured and responsible lifestyle. She takes pride in her growth and the stability she’s building, managing responsibilities like finances, household upkeep, and long-term planning. Meanwhile, Kai, a free spirit who values fun and spontaneity, hasn’t made the same strides toward adulthood. While Ocean loves his playful, carefree nature, she also resents his lack of ambition and reluctance to take on more responsibility. Their maturity gap surfaces in their fights—Ocean feels burdened by the weight of their shared responsibilities, often feeling like the only adult in the relationship, while Kai resents being micromanaged and pushed toward a future he’s not ready to embrace. Beneath the surface, their arguments reveal deeper insecurities—Ocean questions Kai’s commitment and whether he’s truly evolving, while Kai fears being undervalued or used, unsure if he can meet Ocean’s growing expectations.
When they fight, the dynamic can become heated. While Kai prefers to remove himself from the situation by taking a walk or seeing a movie, Ocean wishes for immediate resolution to avoid lingering tension. At times, their arguments escalate to the point where harsh words are exchanged, such as Ocean telling Kai she wishes he were dead—a comment that, though likely said in the heat of the moment, deeply affected him. Despite their fights, their relationship is also filled with lightheartedness and deep connection; they share moments of silliness, creativity, and adventure. The emotional highs often wash away the resentment of past conflicts, but their differences in conflict resolution and expectations for the future continue to pose challenges in their relationship.
Both Kai and Ocean see this opportunity as a chance to gain clarity and radical honesty in their relationship. Kai wants definitive answers, even if they are difficult to hear, and Ocean believes this process could provide a refreshing and productive perspective on their relationship dynamics. Additionally, they are intrigued by the idea of bringing in external perspectives from their close friends and family, hoping to better understand each other through their loved ones’ insights.
Example Questions From Kai to Ocean:
Did you ever use me for convenience in the beginning?
Do you ever look at me and secretly think, ‘I settled’?"
Do you avoid meeting my dad because you’re scared he won’t like you—or because you think you won’t like him?"
If I said we were moving back to Maui tomorrow, would you follow me without hesitation—or would you resent me for it?
What’s the biggest thing you’ve given up for us that you secretly wish you could take back?
When you say I’m your favorite partner, are you telling me the truth—or just what you think I want to hear?
When we first got together, were you really falling in love—or just using me to pass the time?
Is there a version of your life where you’re happier without me in it?
Is it true that you don’t want kids—or are you just terrified you wouldn’t be a good parent?
Are we ever actually going to have a three way as you promised or did you lie to me?
Would you erase me from your mind if we broke up?
If I died tomorrow would you actually mourn me or move on in a few days?
Did you deliberately skip my friend’s bonfire, knowing how much it meant to me?
Example Questions From Ocean to Kai:
Are you willing to convert religions?
Will you ever accept my identity as polyamorous?
Will you ever consider non-monogamy?
Are you willing to move states in the next five years?
Do you still have feelings for your ex-wife?
Have you been honest about how many sexual partners you have had?
Did you stop talking to girls through Instagram when we discussed that you would stop?
Are you being honest about being proactive in your pursuit to better yourself?
Do you really love and care for my cats like you say that you do?
Are you being honest about what you do at home during your days off?
Are you playing video games and being lazy at home when I’m at work?
Do you respect your mother?
Do you have a financial plan or are you winging it?