THE BITING TALE OF A LIQUID LUNCH

JW, BARTENDER

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA

JW clocked into his night shift at Elmo’s in Chelsea, Manhattan where he was working as a bartender. A patron, having been there since the brunch shift, enjoyed a strictly liquid diet throughout the day. JW attempted to close this incoherent man out, repeatedly, but the guy stumbled out of the bar, neglecting to pay his tab. JW chased him out of the bar to get hi to pay the bill—afterall it was a couple hundred dollars or so. He was refusing to pay the bill. That’s when one of the regulars came out the bar and told the drunk guy he had to pay! The drunk aptly swung, punching the regular and shattering his glasses. JW pinned the drunk man against a wall and while on the phone with NYPD the drunk took matters into his own hands, or rather, teeth, and chomped down on JW’s bicep. With a grown man fully attached to his arm, gnawing through his skin, JW fought back and the two rolled down the block, landing in front of an Irish pub littered with Christmas lights. The drunk man began wrapping JW and other witnesses in the lights, creating a bloody Christmas tree. JW’s manager ran out, and JW was forced to let the man go, but has the battle scars cemented in his arm forever. JW returned to his shift, poured some tequila over the wound and worked the rest of the next!