Mom: Cassandra (48)

Daughter: Jenae (24)

Location: Manteca, CA

The Odd Couple

Even though Cassandra has multiple children, she is by far the closest with just one of them. Her middle child, Jenae, is her absolute pride and joy. This, of course, makes it especially difficult for the youngest daughter, Janelle. Janelle not only used to be the baby of the family, but she also just so happens to live with the other two as well... yes, these grown adults all live together. There’s plenty of tension boiling under their shared roof, not only about unrequited attention, but about just how desperately enmeshed Jenae and Cassandra are. Are they holding one another back from living fulfilling lives? Janelle sure thinks so, but Jenae and Cassandra are supposedly so happy, they couldn’t see their lives any other way! 

Cassandra and Jenae share absolutely everything with one another. We’re not just talking secrets here, either (though they certainly don’t hold any of those back from each other) — from sharing matching tattoos to sharing a bed to sharing a bath towel, this mother/daughter duo couldn’t imagine doing anything apart. Despite having multiple rooms to spare, the pair chooses to sleep in the same bed (and a queen-sized bed at that; a King would be too big for their nightly evening cuddles.) As far as that bath towel goes, Cassandra’s signature scent (a Britney Spears perfume that she’s had for years) is so comforting to Jenae that Jenae will often sniff the towel, taking in a whiff just to get a reminder of her mom. It’s their shared, “special towel…” Nightly rituals for the two include back scratches for Jenae, neck massages for Cassandra, and sitting in the bathtub together, fully clothed, discussing their day. On the off chance they’re separated, Jenae and Cassandra will text, Snapchat, and call each other to stay in touch during their time spent apart.

The duo had always been close, but their extreme relationship began when Cassandra and her husband filed for divorce. The marriage simply wasn’t working out, which was devastating to Cassandra. The sympathetic Jenae didn’t want her mom to suffer or be alone, so she vowed to never leave her side. And she hasn’t. Although Jenae and her father have a civil relationship, it’s been strained by the divorce. Interestingly enough, her father is a pastor at the church that Cassandra used to attend.

Though Jenae and Cassandra’s family members are mostly understanding of their closeness, jealousy is a common theme that has cropped up more than just once. Cassandra’s mother (who lives just down the street) has been known to butt in on their arguments and pass judgment, often telling Cassandra that a mother should not be best friends with her daughter. Cassandra knows that her mom is just a little jealous, and that she can’t help that she’s so close with Jenae. 

When Jenae and Cassandra decided to live together, they knew that they needed some financial help to make it happen. With Cassandra not currently working and Jenae working as a full-time nanny (in their home, nonetheless – Jenae doesn’t even leave her mom’s side for work), they needed another source of income to make ends meet. In came Janelle. The duo asked the youngest daughter to move in, thinking that living with more family would be the perfect solution to their need for financial support. Janelle was conflicted from the beginning. She wasn’t going to abandon her family, especially when they were asking for help, but she knew that moving in would be a recipe for disaster. Although the two promise that Janelle is a busy bee who wouldn’t have time to hang out with them anyway, Janelle has admitted that she often feels left out.  

Cassandra tries her best to show equal love and support to all her children but finds her other kids to be independent in a way that Jenae isn’t. Janelle has a lot of issues when it comes to their closeness, the main theme being, “they are dangerously dependent on one another.” Jenae literally can’t do anything without her mom, even something as simple as going to the grocery store. She’s not going out with friends. She has no boyfriend. Her comfort is her mom, and she’s stuck in that safe space. Janelle, on the other hand, has a fulfilling job working with her dad at the church that he is a pastor at. Turns out, Janelle’s boyfriend also works at the same church! Janelle has figured it out, why can’t Jenae?

When Janelle interjects her opinion, though, it never goes well. Jenae fights back and becomes instantly defensive, and mom shuts down and isolates from the argument. Even if Janelle pleads to her mother, Cassandra will promise that she’ll make a change, but nothing ever happens. It has created a toxic and hostile environment where they either must avoid each other or an argument will erupt…

Sadly, Cassandra suffers from Fibromyalgia, a chronic disease that means that she has her “good days” where she’s chipper, active, and fun, and bad days, where she’s weak and lethargic. Jenae is her steadfast caretaker throughout, making sure that her mom is comforted in any and every way possible. Mom also must go through a mandatory medical procedure every six months for her chronic illness. It’s a milestone event that causes anxiety for both mom and daughter. Jenae worries about the outcome of the procedure, if something were to go wrong, and the simple separation. Cassandra knows that her daughter is taking on too much for a young person, but she needs the help, so she embraces her daughter’s care.

However, in positive health news, Cassandra has recently undergone a gastric bypass surgery, which has helped her lose 55 pounds so far (and it’s still coming off)! Though reluctant to admit it, Jenae has voiced feeling jealous of her mom for taking such huge strides. Even though she’s proud, it feels crazy to Jenae that her mom is able to fit into her clothes. Jenae is determined to join her mom’s healthy lifestyle, ready to adjust her food habits and get back into exercise. The two plan on getting a gym membership together in order to take water aerobics classes.  

When it comes to relationships, both Cassandra and Jenae are single and ready to mingle. Jenae, who’s never had a relationship last longer than six months, is still waiting for Mr. Right to settle down with. As a Christian woman, she’s made the personal choice to save herself for marriage — a decision that Cassandra, who is currently divorced, is opting for as well, choosing to wait until she remarries. When Jenae meets someone new, he knows by the first date that Jenae is extremely close with her mom. When Jenae brings a boy over to watch a movie, she invites her mom to come join them. No matter what, Jenae and Cassandra have each other’s backs when it comes to dating. Speed dating together is not only on the table, but something the two have been dying to do. Janelle, on the other hand, think that these women are holding each other back in dating, and that they need to show some type of independence if they ever hope to find love. Jenae wants children and a husband someday, but she’ll never get that if she’s constantly with her mother.

It's only a matter of time before things at home will reach critical mass. Janelle has threatened on multiple occasions that she doesn’t need to live there, and that her life would be better off without her mom and sister. Janelle’s boyfriend agrees and thinks that she shouldn’t tolerate the disrespect, favoritism, and weirdness. Janelle and Cassandra aren’t sure how to change, but writing is on the wall. Something needs to give.