Jack, Kim & James

Jack (38) - Kim’s Husband

Kim (40)

James (43) - Kim’s Ex-Husband

Grand Island, FL

Kim and Jack are currently married. They swiped right on Tinder in 2014. They met up for a drink…that turned into several drinks…and a one-hour date turned into an entire, magical evening. The rest is history as they say! Kim and Jack have been married for six years. They love each other very much and are doing their best to blend their families together. Enter James… Kim’s ex, James, is a loud, funny, but SUPER sensitive guy from Brooklyn with a big personality and an even bigger mouth. He certainly brings the spice to Kim and Jack’s otherwise idyllic, picture-perfect family.

James and Kim met in 2010 at work. They hit it off and had a son together in 2012. Shortly after their son was born they realized that they weren’t meant to be a pair. The couple had different ideas when it came to parenting and very different world views. They felt like they were better off apart. Today James and Kim are the best of friends. He is even a big uncle to Kim and Jack’s daughter. He’s a non-negotiable element in Kim’s life. She will confide in James over her own husband, which Jack in turn doesn’t appreciate. 

But blending everyone together can be incredibly tricky! Kim and James have a son named Camryn (age 8). Kim and Jack have a daughter together, Olivia (age 4) and Jack and his ex-wife have a daughter together named Taylor (age 8). Jack and his ex-wife are civil, but she is not in the picture. Being co-parents to three children under ten years old is extremely stressful and complicated. Kim considers herself up-tight. It’s difficult for her to adjust to change and spontaneity. She feels she has to be all business in order to keep the family moving forward. Jack feels like he’s the fun parent and James is the wild card! Finding a balance between three adults with very different personalities and points of view means having difficult and uncomfortable conversations. Those conversations are all the more complicated when one of those people in the mix is an Ex.

For as a close as James and Kim are, they are not without their issues. James is known to have a volatile and sensitive personality. He can be the life of the party one minute, or he can be extremely defensive and combative the next. He lashes out if he feels attacked. “I’ve been called many a bad word in Spanish by James,” admits Kim. The source of conflict is usually all about how he perceives the concept of either Jack or Kim talking about healthy boundaries. For instance: James feels completely at home on  Kim’s home. It’s not unusual for Jack to come home and James is having a beer on their couch! Sometimes Jack and Kim LOVE that James is a built in baby-sitter, but they also need to be careful to delineate what’s close, and what’ too close for comfort.

As it relates to parenting, Kim and James have to figure out a way to co-parent together. Part of the reason they broke up is that they have different ideas as to what it means to be a parent. Kim is extremely hard on herself when she messes up. James is a much looser a parent than she is. He’ll swear in front of the kids and Kim does everything she can to be as a perfect a parent as possible.

Jack has complained that Kim is more vulnerable, kinder and more sensitive to James than she is with him. When it comes to issues in their marriage or issues of co-parenting, Kim is direct and aggressive with Jack. She says it’s because Jack can take it but James is so sensitive that any false word will create a thunderstorm of drama. Kim teases James that he always has “that time of the month” drama. He’ll be triggered by anything and everything. He’ll cry. He’ll get upset. His feelings will be hurt.

Jack and James also are navigating what it means to be two alpha men who are co-parenting and raising a son together. They both have their own ideas on how Camryn should be coached in sports, how to give advice to him what it relates to girls… all the normal dad stuff. They’ve certainly stepped on one another’s toes as it relates to the boundaries of “biological dad” and “step dad.”

Although James is currently single he’s open to dating. His life is so enmeshed with his ex-wife’s he knows it’s going to be a lot for a new person to digest. In the next year James, Kim and Jack have plenty of co-parenting challenges coming up. From deciding on birthdays, vacations, parenting styles and how to navigate tough interpersonal conversations, this is a blended trio with plenty of personality, plenty of drama and plenty of fun to go around.

Jack: Pharmacist

Kim: Board Certified Behavior Analyst

James: Group Home Supervisor