Mom: Eva (65)

Daughter: Sunnie (36)

Location: Houston, Texas

Mom Occupation: Retired Esthetician

Daughter Occupation: Owner Of Med Spas

As Thick As Blood

Originally from Iraq, mother Eva is a first generation American who raised her daughter, Sunnie, to be proud, confident and of course, family oriented to the extreme. Sunnie owns and operates several med spas and to expand her practice is getting her phlebotomy credentials so she can administer injectables and do blood work if need be. For practice she decided to extract a vial of her own blood. Sunnie was going to throw it away, but mom refused, saying that it’s too special and important to discard. It’s her daughter’s blood after all! So, now Eva keeps the vial of her daughter’s blood in the refrigerator! The duo finds it sweet, special and sentimental. Everyone else (including Sunnie’s daughter and her niece/nephews) finds it disturbing and inappropriate. Eva and Sunnie don’t care, and in fact are looking to get matching jewelry that holds one another’s blood!  

Mom came to the United States in the 1970’s and raised her daughters (Sunnie and her older sister Sarah) as women straddling the line between ethnically Middle Eastern and modern, Western ladies. They’re background and culture is very important to them. They speak Arabic to one another. They celebrate Muslim holidays. Although they don’t wear hijabs on a daily basis, they will wear hijabs when they take out their prayer mats, center them facing Mecca, and observe traditional prayers by each other’s side. It’s a special ritual that makes the power of prayer that much stronger.

Cleanliness is a major aspect of the Muslim religion, especially as it relates to one’s personal hygiene. Coincidentally, Eva and Sunnie are both professional estheticians who’s life’s work is centered around body beautification, hygiene and upkeep. That includes, making sure their private areas are immaculately clean and maintained. Mom will pluck ingrown hairs from Sunnie’s groin. But, one of their favorite activities is giving each other “vagacials” (yes, you guessed it — “vagina” + “facials”). And the secret ingredient? Rose water! Mom will use rose water on her daughter’s delicate flower as a way to clean, purify and freshen the vagina. They love how it makes their underwear smell. Sunnie can’t believe anyone would find this weird, but of course everyone does…

Eva whole heartedly admits that Sunnie is the favorite, not Sarah. Sarah in turn feels jealous and left out.  Sunnie and Eva believe that soulmates aren’t just found in romantic partners, and they are that to each other. Although she’s happy that she’s not getting vagacials or getting her blood saved in the fridge, Sarah feels like she’s missing out on shopping, gossip, inside jokes and quality time with her mother and sister. Her level of intimacy, comradery and companionship with her mother is light years behind that of Sunnie and Eva’s. And it shows. And hurts.

Eva is divorced from Sunnie’s father, and Sarah believes that much of what Mom lacks in romance she unhealthily compensates for with Sunnie. Meanwhile, Sunnie is in a budding and loving relationship with a handsome, former pro baseball player named Scott. Their relationship is still in its early stages but both have marriage on the brain. They’re getting older and dating without the intention to marry just isn’t appealing anymore. Sunnie plans a marriage ultimatum once they hit their six month anniversary. Scott also has something very sensitive, and very serious to speak with Sunnie about too. He’s just not sure how she’ll take it. Because the relationship is on the newer side (they’ve known each other as friends for several years and have been in a romantic relationship for the last four months) Scott isn’t sure how to bring up how he feels about Eva. Scott loves that Sunnie is close with mom but that’s where it ends. Eva is always at Sunnie’s home, so much so, that he thought that they lived together up until recently! Naturally, that makes intimacy a major obstacle. When the couple goes on a date, guess who is also there? He’s struggling to understand the vagacials and how they can be so open about it. He’s struggling to accept the extreme amount of time that they spend together. He loves Sunnie, and he’s in it for the long term, but he’s not sure what he’s getting himself in to. He wants more time with Sunnie one on one. He wants his relationship with her to deepen and grow if they are to take their relationship to the next step. With Eva around all the time that seems like a bridge too far. Additionally, Scott admits that he feels that Eva doesn’t like him and views him as competition. He’s simply the boyfriend and she is the priority and the focus. It should be him. When mom and daughter are together Scott feels irrelevant and unseen. How can he bring this up without insulting Sunnie or Eva or driving a wedge in between the two? He did have one thought: If Eva was in a relationship, perhaps she would be distracted enough to allow Sunnie to spend more time with him? He’s going to start seeing what single men are out there!

Ironically, Eva’s main hope in life is for Sunnie to get married, hoping that a husband will secure her daughter’s safety and happiness. Plus, in Arabic culture, having a “boyfriend” is looked down upon; if you’re with someone, you’re courting to marry them. In Eva’s words, she doesn’t “care” who this person is as long as he goes through the motions of what a good husband is supposed to do. Eva has no intention of relinquishing her role as the matriarch of the family if/when Sunnie gets married. She’ll continue to have the same, insanely close relationship with Sunnie, whether Scott likes it or not…