Mom: Debra aka “Debbie” (60)

Daughter: April (42)

Location: Rockwall, Texas

Addicted To Marriage

The majority of moms worry about the men their daughter will date, but not every daughter is worried about what man will be their mom’s tenth husband. Yes, that’s right. Mom has been married a whopping NINE times and the tenth is probably just around the corner…

Debbie, a self-described hopeless romantic, has had nine marriages come to an end, and it’s always the same story. Once the last husband is gone from her life, Debbie changes her relationship status on Facebook and within a flash, suitors are in her messages, eager to swoop in. Debbie says that the men always come chasing after her, and that she never uses dating apps. “I don’t have to go hunting,” she jokes. April says her mom is quick to start dating again, and that there’s barely any time spent being single in-between marriages. It’s usually the mother stealing her daughter’s phone, looking through private text messages, but April is the one snooping on her mom’s phone in order to find out who she’s been talking to and if she’s started dating again.

Marital drama aside, Debbie and April are inseparably bonded. The pair have been through so much in their lives; from death to divorce to financial troubles, their life story has been anything but easy. The two find comfort in each other and in their spirituality. They do yoga together, sage their home together, meditate together, and cleanse crystals to the moon together. One of their favorite activities together, though, is therapy. Not going to therapy separately to try and work out their issues. Going to therapy TOGETHER, as if it they are going to couples therapy! Additionally, April is an esthetician and does all her mom’s skincare: chemical peels, facials, hair. Oh, and April buys all her mother’s clothing and dresses her mom every morning. April says that mom is a copy-cat. If April gets a tattoo, mom does too! If April adopts a style, mom does too! April finds it funny, but frustrating that mom doesn’t have her own style.

These two are also self-proclaimed black sheep of their community. They think their town is snotty, and have always just had each other to lean on as they deal with the social awkwardness of feeling different in their little pocket of Texas. In fact, April sends her children to a very good, but a very conservative Christian school even though she’s not conservative. Although she’s a person of faith, she’s the outlier. She’s the one who swears, has tattoos and a rockabilly alternative look. She’s definitely not a cookie cutter, Christian housewife! And neither is her mom Debbie! April and Debbie do not see eye to eye with the other moms and therefore endure more than their fair share of criticisms.  

Ryan, April’s husband, says Debbie will often change her personality to meet the mold of the man she’s with. Debbie is typically quirky, independent, and free spirited. April hates that her mom dims her light to accommodate some random man. She wants her mom to be happy, but she doesn’t have to lose herself in the process. Ryan recalls that, with Debbie’s last husband, she was constantly cooking, cleaning, and doing chores, leaving her little time to spend with her daughter and grandkids. When Debbie is obsessed with a man she is neglecting April. April feels like she only gets mom when she has to pick up the pieces after her newest failed relationship. Even if Debbie refuses to ever get married again, it happens, time and time and again. Every time is painful and frustrating for April.

Mom’s marriage pattern has also made April worry about her own marriage. April has admitted that her deepest fear is that she turns out like her mother. She’s been divorced one time before, and although she loves Ryan, there’s always the nagging fear in the back of her mind, what if her marriage and her family falls apart like her mother’s has time and time again? April and Ryan are doing, “fine”, not amazing and not terrible. April takes some of the responsibility saying that she has a very hard time being emotionally vulnerable and affectionate to her husband. She can be honest and vulnerable with her mom, but not always with Ryan, which makes the romantic aspect of their relationship rocky.

Though Debbie is living at home with April and Ryan now, happily helping raise their kids, it’s only a matter of time before Debbie’s dating life kicks into gear and another man enters their world. Mom is already speaking to a man named Brian who is baiting Debra with a trip to Europe. April knows it’s coming whether she likes it or not. She wants her mom to be happy, but history has told her to not get her hopes up.