Mother: Cathy (62)

Daughter: Mary (26)

Location: Virginia Beach, VA

Red-Head sMotherly Love

Cathy and Mary are an outrageous, loud and unapologetic mother and daughter! They share their home, their bed, their style, their friends, their interests – even the same fiery red hair. They can finish each other’s thoughts after a single word and know exactly what the other is thinking or feeling just based on the direction of a lip curl or the way they shift their neck, no matter how slightly. Cathy and her only child, Mary, are self-proclaimed soulmates, and it’s likely that that this is the first thing they will tell you when you meet them, as if it wasn’t immediately obvious just from the way the two interact.

Their bond formed from the moment Cathy gave birth to the prize of her life, a decision she made on her own without the support of her partner at the time. Mary’s father was never present or dependable in their lives, so Cathy played the role of parent, singular, and almost immediately began sleeping right next to her daughter every single night, something that they continue to do this day. While they are certainly over-the-top about their codependence, their desire to be together 24/7 would likely exist even if they weren’t related by blood or otherwise. They are both simply the best person either of them person has ever met. They are best friends, so why wouldn’t they want to hang out at all times without any interruption? In fact, in the 26 years they have been together, they have only been apart for one week – a week that Cathy considers the hardest week of her entire life.

Their habits and rituals only further enforce their smothering relationship. They talk in baby voices to each other. They have their own song that they sing to each other. They even invented a micro language, consisting of a few words and phrases. Among them: ‘Nonchonk’ which seemingly means ‘thank you,’ and ‘sumasqua’ which means good… we think. They are also extremely open with each other about their sex lives, both the real and the desired.

They have both heard each other having sex, an experience that makes them laugh without a hint of discomfort. They have no reservations about sexuality - aside from the fact that it requires that they are apart from each other, an obstacle preventing both of them from being too active in the bedroom department.

Cathy and Mary don’t have very many other people in their lives, and the few that they are close with are all women, exclusively. Although they both WANT more men around, it seems that they go out of their way to keep them at a distance. While they’re both active on multiple dating apps, neither of them ever end up actually going on dates. Cathy seems content with long texting sessions, but then ends up balking and bailing as soon as a suitor suggests that they take it to the next level and going out on a date in-person. Mary’s determination to live with her mom for the rest of her life automatically throws a wrench into any budding romance. After all, it’s not easy to find a man who is both aware and content to live with his future mother-in-law right from the start. Mary also struggles with the fear of abandoning her mother, an action she vows will never happen. So, while she would love to go out and have a romantic time, somewhere lodged in the back of her head is this feeling that her mom is being left out. Cathy believes strongly that a woman doesn’t need a man to find happiness, a philosophy that influences the decisions Mary makes in her own love life, regardless of the fact that Cathy often expresses that she would love for Mary to find a man and hopefully one day bring a grandchild into their lives.

So, what they don’t have going in the way of romantic male attention, they make up for with platonic male attention – by regularly attending drag queen brunches on the weekend. This is where Cathy and Mary love to turn things up to eleven and have fun. They too love to dress up in costume, whether it be matching on Halloween or wonderfully festive for Christmas, each holiday or outing is an opportunity for the two to show the world just how close they are, and how much they resemble each other. Their level of closeness leaves many who encounter them wondering just exactly what their relationship is – are they best friends? Are they… lovers? They have been asked on more than one occasion how long they have been dating. They laugh. They find it flattering, even. But in the end, their love for each other is strictly that of a mother and daughter.

While Virginia Beach has been good to Cathy and Ashley, they have decided to pull up stakes and move to Washington state. To do this, they will be going on an amazing cross country road trip, which they will most certainly be turning into their next big adventure. Along the way, they will turn heads in almost any town they pass through. Once they arrive in Washington, they will begin carving out a new but familiar life for themselves. With a change of scenery, it is possible that Cathy and Mary might finally be ready to separate for a few hours of male attention. It appears this might even be one of the reasons for the move – a change of place might just be the breath of fresh air that finally nudges this inseparable mother/daughter duo to part ways, if just for a little bit. But even if that happens, it won’t last for long. Old habits die hard, and their habit is the most impossible to break: unconditional, over-the-top, smotherly love.