Benjamin (32)

Austin, TX

The Bodybuilder

Growing up, many of the men in Benjamin’s family were obese and he was terrified to end up with the same fate. He was made fun of by the other kids in school for being a late bloomer, and at fifteen, he discovered weight lifting and bodybuilding. The idea that he could make improvements daily that would exhibit change in his body was enticing to Benjamin as a perfectionist and “control freak.” From that moment, he set his sights on becoming the best and biggest version of himself – he’s working on that goal to this day!

Benjamin treats the gym like his full-time job, his extracurriculars, even his therapy. His physique is impressive and massive, earning him an IFBB Pro Card, meaning that he is classified as a professional body builder by the International Federation of Body Builders. In order to achieve his Grecian physique he relies on legal as well as illegal injectables. On the legal side, he injects insulin into his system before a workout increasing his blood sugar and spiking his energy level to ensure that he has the best workout possible. On the illegal side, he takes steroidal testosterone shots aka “gear,” that enhances his body’s muscle building hormones. The catch is, once you start altering your hormonal balance, it is very difficult to ween your body off it, or “cycle” through it. Many people need to be on the injectables for a lifetime in order to stay balanced and normal. Ben won’t miss a shot and has even taken the shot while driving a car!

As if the injectables weren’t extreme enough, Benjamin practically lives at the gym. He’s there 3.5 hours per day, 5 days a week... at least... and it’s not uncommon to see him crying during a workout. That’s nothing to be concerned about, he says - it’s just his way of letting out pent up emotions that have built up over the years, and pushing himself beyond the brink of comfort. The mental and emotional distress are alarming for his family, not to mention other gym goers! It’s important for Benjamin to schedule every minute of his day into his routine, and stick to it. Another odd fact: Ben sleeps with a pregnancy pillow which limits his movement and allows his body to remain symmetrical and ready for the gym.

He eats the same menu each day, which consists of enormous amounts of protein... Over the years the amount of meat and food he has consumed has worn down his teeth. He’s had multiple crowns, fillings and procedures totaling $26,000 dollars so that his mouth and teeth are properly calibrated to endure the diet of a professional body builder.

Bodybuilding isn’t a safe sport and what Ben is putting his body through comes with risk. Ben has had countless injuries from weightlifting, but the most sobering was an emergency injury caused by infected illegal steroids, or “bad gear.” Ben was enjoying an outdoor music festival when he started to feel a burning sensation in his glute. It continued to become swollen and inflamed, creating a six-inch abscess. He went to the emergency room where they did a $5,000-dollar procedure to remove the tainted chemicals and heal the infection. The doctors noted that if the injection was any closer to the muscle that he could have lost the entire muscle. For most people this should have been a wakeup call but to Ben, he only noticed the time he was out of the gym and the disruption of his workout schedule.

The obsession has also impacted his personal life. Ben admits to countless failed relationships where he prioritized the gym over the relationship. In fact, he still lives with his ex-girlfriend Felicia who had to break up with him because she had much higher expectations for the amount of time they would spend together. Ultimately, with the time and energy that Benjamin dedicates to his own looks, he doesn’t have much leftover for anyone else - except, of course, his four cats that he considers his “social life.” He has little time with friends or family, and constantly chooses the gym, work, rest and eating. It’s a lonely and isolated way of life, but still Ben prefers it that way.

Elyse, Ben’s sister who he is closest to is in a precarious position with her brother. She is trying to balance being supportive but also real with him as it relates to the physical and emotional risks of his dream to have the perfect muscular body. On one hand, if she criticizes him too much the couple will get into terrible fights and he will ultimately cut her out of his life, like he does to anyone who questions him. On the other hand, if she is too supportive then she will feel like she is doing him a disservice and enabling him on a path on unhappiness. She worries that the steroids will damage his pancreas and his liver or kidneys and that it could also impact his sperm count, impairing his ability to one day have children. It’s a difficult conversation for her to have with her brother.

The next major goal in bodybuilding is for Benjamin to become the world famous, top of the totem pole award of “Mr. Olympia.” The title is bestowed at a yearly competition that contestants must qualify for. He is currently doing everything he can to place and train to become Mr. Olympia. He feels his age is a
ticking time bomb, and will do anything it takes to conquer the competition before he’s too old. Benjamin admits that when he has his mind set on something, nothing will get in his way of achieving it...but between money, time, and his own health, what cost is he willing to pay?