Mother: Angie (46)

Daughter: Shay (22)

Trafalgar, Indiana 

The Daughter Mom Never Had

Angie and her daughter, Shay, are loud and proud, sassy and sweet, two pieces cut from the same cloth. They live together, swap sex stories, gossip and giggle like school girls. However, their lives have not always been so carefree. Shay was assigned male at birth, and was given the name Chase. Shay revealed that she was a woman to her mother and friends in September 2020. Before then, Shay had revealed that he was first bisexual, then he came out as gay, and then transgender. Now on her journey towards identity-acceptance, Shay and Angie are closer than ever, navigating a major turning point in their relationship: from mother and assigned-son to mother and daughter.  

Throughout their lives, Angie and Shay have been a self-sufficient duo. Starting almost immediately after giving birth to (at that time known as) Chase, Angie’s former husband abandoned them. But Angie didn’t have time to mourn the departure of her husband, she had bigger problems to worry over: Baby Chase was born with a heart disease, almost causing him to die when he was just 9 days old. The doctors told Angie that her chile had a 10% chance of survival, but Angie refused to accept it. She spent all day and night tending to Chase’s needs, no matter what the cost. On more than one occasion, Chase’s heart stopped beating late at night, and Angie would have to rush the newborn to the hospital. Balancing Chase’s delicate health while keeping a roof over their heads and food on the table was no easy task, but Angie persevered, and kept their little family above water.

The sacrifice required to ensure their survival created a bond that is deeper than that of a typical mother and daughter. Everyone in their lives has always said that they are perhaps TOO close with each other, that they are more like friends, or sisters even, a sentiment Angie and Shay can’t help but mostly agree with (and enjoy). Angie insists that she is a mother first, friend second… but the level to which this is true is negligible. They are very much a product of each other’s almost twin personalities: loud, deeply honest, obsessed with hair styling, wigs, and makeup (a skill Shay learned from Angie, a makeup professional for almost 30 years). 

Because of Shay’s transition, Angie has been given the gift of raising Shay for a second time, this time as the woman that she always was. She is teaching her everything about being a lady and is even passing down her old bras and underwear so that Shay does not have to buy her own yet. She will be right along with Shay during her hormonal therapy, something Shay is hoping will begin in the next few months. Angie even plans on teaching Shay how to properly shave her legs! Shay has expressed that they don’t shower, but mostly because “us big bitches can’t both fit in the shower together!”

Angie has told Shay repeatedly since she was a child, “I love you as big as the sky.” They can’t help but choke up with tears of love whenever they look into each other’s eyes reminisce over the good, the bad, the easy and the hard, that they have gone through in their lives together. Shay has a colorful and comedic personality. She’s never without a witty retort or a, “I can’t believe she just said that!” personality. Mom and daughter love makeup routines and spending hours basking together in their backyard pool. They love to belt-out Shania twain and make inappropriate jokes. Nothing is off limits. Beyond the sass and jokes, Shay has a sensitive heart and truly wants to fall in love. Shay wants to meet a man, who loves and accepts her just the way she is. Although Shay presents as strong, she still struggles with accepting herself, and her self-confidence wavers on a daily basis. Steadfast, Angie is there for every up and down, holding her daughter’s hand and the two of them navigate this unknown road.  

Shay’s talent and love for makeup and femininity started very young, so much so that Angie was not ultimately surprised when Shay told her that she was a woman. The reveal took Angie some getting used to, but there is nothing Shay can do or say that will make Angie turn away from her daughter. This is something that Brian, Angie’s husband and Shay’s stepfather, is not having as easy a time with. He is deeply religious, and believes that God gave you the body you were meant to be born in. He loves Shay, and he has since the day he entered Angie and Shay’s lives, 14 years ago. He is working hard to accept Shay’s transition to womanhood. Cam, Shay’s best friend of six years, occupies a more supportive role, as they identify as androgynous, and has been very influential in making Shay feel safe and comfortable and truly feminine. They depend on each other to tackle any problem that comes their way, and Cam believes deeply in the power of Angie and Shay’s relationship. Carrie, another of Angie and Shay’s close friends, agrees. She first met Shay when she was the manager at a local Cricket Wireless store, where Shay also used to work. Carrie considers herself a part of Angie and Shay’s family, as a daughter to Angie and mother-figure to Shay.

Shay will be attending college for the first time, online, to study photography. When she is not tending to her studies, she will be continuing to build her social media presence, and work on her own insecurities. Shay is interested in starting the journey of a full transition including top surgery, full gender re-assignment surgery, and hormonal treatments, a process that Angie will be right alongside for every step of the way. Angie also has her own busy life and is working on starting her own beauty and hair product line, a business that stems from her almost 3 decades as a professional in the beauty world. The road ahead for Angie and Shay is going to be a difficult one. They have the odds stacked against them in more ways than one, but they both know that they can get through almost anything as long as they are doing it together. As long as their love as is as big as the sky.