ALEX

Parents: Stephanie (68) Ray (71)

Adult Child/Daughter: Alex (34)

Location: Chattaroy, Washington

Alex is the only child born from Stephanie and Ray's marriage. Before their union, Ray and Stephanie each had two daughters from previous marriages. Alex has always been a challenging daughter, standing in stark contrast to her stable, successful and thriving half-sisters who have launched without issue.

Since she was 15 years old Alex's life has been marked by a history of ups and downs, dabbling in drug use, getting involved in the wrong crowd, self-esteem issues and toxic relationships. Alex has been living at home for the past four years, but she has never truly "launched" from her parents' care during her lifetime. Things came to a head during the pandemic when she wasn’t able to adequately provide for herself. Mom, Stephanie, allowed Alex to move back home with the understanding that it was a temporary arrangement. Alex hasn’t been able to launch since and every day that passes gets further and further from independence.

It's no secret that Alex isn't making an effort to be a good house guest. She neither contributes financially nor helps with household chores. To make matters worse Alex is a shopping addict. Alex can't see something she wants and NOT buy it. If she doesn't have the money, she asks her parents for money or forgo paying an essential bill like her car payment to fund her excessive purchases. She is purchasing handbags, clothing, getting med-spa procedures. She isn’t investing in anything that will help her achieve independence. It’s all superficial and irrelevant spending. Alex has been borrowing money from her parents with the understanding that she will pay them back. She is tens of thousands of dollars in debt to mom and dad. Consistently, Alex fails to keep a job for an extended period despite her ability to easily secure interviews and job offers. Mom and dad are retired and on a fixed income so allowing Alex to borrow money means that they are sacrificing from their retirement savings. Stephanie has even had to take on part-time work to make more money for their household.

Alex's presence at home has strained family relations. Alex is estranged from her four sisters because they don't agree with how she treats Ray and Stephanie. They won’t set foot in the house.

Additionally, Stephanie and Ray's marriage is on the rocks - with each, at times, considering divorce because they can't seem to find common ground on how to handle Alex. Ray has no problem calling out Alex's blatant fiscal irresponsibility, while Stephanie seems to enable Alex's bad behavior and drives herself to the point of exhaustion by shouldering her work and all of the household responsibilities.

This family's situation is dire because Alex seems unwilling to change her behavior and desperately needs a wake-up call in order to even have a chance at living the independent life she so desperately wants. With Ray retired and Stephanie approaching her retirement years, having Alex under their roof is a substantial financial burden, potentially jeopardizing their long-awaited "golden years." Ray and Stephanie have tried to impose ultimatums for when Alex should move out, but have walked them back because of guilt. However, there is only so much they can do for Alex before they need to prioritize their own well-being.